Welcome to my blog....

Well this is scary.

I have never blogged before. Always wanted to and today I decided to start one. I don't know if I will have anything to say that would remotely interest anyone or serve a purpose to anyone, I would hope it does, but really this is just for me. A way to get my thoughts and feelings written down so that I can process them better when I am overwhelmed, or as a tool to step outside my thoughts and see things for what they are.

So Here I go.

I named my Blog the final escape because I am working on an escape so to speak. An escape from this shell that is not me. I am talking about losing weight. I have been struggling for years with my weight, which has been especially difficult for me because the first part of my life I was THIN! I had no problems. I could eat what I wanted, wear what I wanted, and I was happy. I was me.
I am now covered in this shell that I am fighting to escape from and I am making it the final attempt. I won't fail this time no matter how long it takes. I have too much at stake.
My health, the health of my future children, my self esteem, my quality of life, you name it, its a reason.
I have been on this path of self improvement (seriously) since January of this year. I quit smoking after 15 years and now exercise, eating right, taking care of and nurturing my body have become top priority. I want to be healthy, not just thin again.

So I have 40 lbs left to lose. I have already lost 19 lbs since I quit smoking when I hit my all time high of 193 lbs. EEEEK! I am only 5'6". What was I thinking letting myself get that big, out of shape and miserable??? I wasn't thinking. Now I am.

So your welcome to come along for the ride and watch me escape this shell that is not me.